Tuesday, August 19, 2008

metaphorical carnivore

coming to the red horse cafe has become this weird, faux-routine that i force myself to be okay with until that one day when the real routine will somehow implant itself into my life. 

i didn't realize i was such a slave to structure until now. i mean for god's sake, i am a proud pisces! pull it together and go with the flow, sistah!  but alas! maybe all of my anthropology teachings about the structural anthropologist, claude levi-strauss, got to me. i have become a mere example of his core idea...the human need for structure in day-to-day life.

oh, but it hasn't been so bad. i go for long walks in prospect park. i write...mostly because i don't have an excuse not to at the moment. i have dinner and go to concerts with friends. i stare at my empty apartment and smile with the imagination of, slowly but surely, turning it into a home with equal parts funk and coziness.

all the new stuff going on here feels like a shell of a possible life. or maybe it's like getting a bare, white bone when what you are really in the mood for is juicy meat. it's such a tease. but it's almost like a promise, too. it is evidence that what you want actually does exist...because right there in front of you is the skeleton of it.

wishing you all a t-bone steak kind of day.

love!
jkl

1 comment:

Jojo said...

i can't wait to see all the treasures that start to fill apartment 4r!