Tuesday, January 8, 2008

hide and seek

so many of the songs on my mixes are repeats, which i full heartily endorse. there's this one song, "i would" by brown couch that has always been near and dear to me. it's so hopeful and about searching and waiting and after listening to it one day, i started to see its message reflecting in all the art around me in my life. and i guess that made me want to make this mix, which i thought was about something, i don't know what that something is, finding me. but then it became about lots of things and kept changing and morphing and hiding and reappearing. so maybe this is a mix about waiting to be found, or about trying to find something (whether that be a lost shoe or love). or maybe when we say we're trying to find something, we're actually trying to lose something else. or we say we want to find one thing, when we really don't (because things we don't know are the things we believe in most). or maybe it's all, this life, simply about waiting for some elusive magic to enter our lives only to realize later on, maybe only after it's too late, that it, whatever it is, has always been there.

1. "i would" -brown couch
2. "that teenage feeling" -neko case
3. "waiting" -harris tweed
4. "if she wants me" -belle & sebastian
5. "your heart is an empty room"- death cab for cutie
6. "you will. you? will. will. you? will." -bright eyes
7. "she wants to play hearts" -ryan adams
8. "you must build a fire" -crooked fingers
9. "please, please, please let me get what i want this time" -the smiths
10. "to be the one" -ryan adams
11. "anybody wanna take me home?" ryan adams
12. "fidelity" -regina spektor
13. "and i remember every kiss" -jens lekhman
14. "somebody from somewhere" -ella fitzgerald
15. "some sweet day" -sparklehorse
16. "i thought i held you" -wilco
17. "save yourself" -sensefield
18. "easy on me" -mikey and dan from danville
19. "take it from me" -the weepies
20. "will you come and fetch me?" -of montreal
21. "you must turn" -entrance
22. "who is it?" -bjork
23. "leave me (like you found me)" -wilco

so what am i finding/waiting for/searching/avoiding/etc/etc? hell if i know. isn't that the fun of it? maybe i'm trying to find the people and places and corners of the universe where i think i fit. or maybe i'm waiting for myself to change enough to fit into the corners where i already am. i often wait for inspiration to find me, which i'm not really sure is fair to inspiration's sake or to myself. i'm waiting to be some one's inspiration. or to realize that i am my own. most days, though, i'm just waiting for a good hair day and the perfect latte to come my way.



Melissa J said...

jackie, I LOVE the last bit! it sums my thoughts up exactly. You always know how to put it into words

Madi said...

i am waiting for you..